Five Reasons to Commit a Crime in Alabama

Five Reasons to Commit a Crime in Alabama

Sitting in the house is boring and no fun at all! Who wants to do that when the outside has so much to offer, especially in the mind of a criminal? There are a lot of reasons to commit a crime, whether you’re in Birmingham or Montgomery, or even in Mobile or Randolph. Yes, you read that. We said there are plenty of reasons to commit a crime. Not only do you get bragging rights with all of your friends, you’ll also get so much more. Here are five reasons to hurry out and commit your choice of crimes today.

Policeman on police motorcycle on the road. Vector illustration

  1. You’ll earn a Rep

But it’s not a rep that’s ever going to have you a valued member of the community, or able to get a job, or even to serve as a positive role model for your kids. This isn’t the kind of rep that you want.

  1. You can Unleash your Animal Instincts

As you are spending all of that time behind bars locked inside of a cage when you’re caught, you can learn so many new animal instincts that you can unleash.

  1. Nobody needs Nobody

Who needs friends or family? No one wants to be associated with a criminal, so expect your real friends and family to shy away from you. You’ll also lose them when you’re sitting in prison unable to breath the fresh air.

  1. You could become a Star

Depending upon the crime that you choose to commit, you could become a big time star with a spot on the nightly news, in the newspaper, and maybe even on social media. Wouldn’t that be nice? Who doesn’t want their family and friends, potential employers and others to see them on the news or elsewhere as they’re wanted for a crime?

  1. Hasta la Vista, Money

Lawyers are available to represent you in court if you commit a crime. Some lawyers charge hourly rates while other charge flat fees, but either way you can expect to fork over no less than a grand or two for their services. Even then there is no guarantee that you’ll stay out of jail. Do you have that kind of money sitting around to hand to a lawyer?

Go Commit a Crime Today

Obviously this entire article is written in a very sarcastic manner and you are not encouraged to commit any type of crime; even one you find minor. Crimes turn lives upside down and change life as you know it. Don’t resort to such an incident.

Five Reasons to Commit a Crime in Alabama